I know a lot. Don't get all judgmental- I'm not bragging. The only reason I know what I know is because I learn from my mistakes, which I assume, most people do. The thing I'm admitting when I say "I know a lot" is actually, "Folks, you'd be amazed at how many times I've messed things up". Yup, so really my bragging rights fall into sheepish truths I have to face.
On any given day, I suppose I enjoy "knowing a lot". But I seem to also be faced with the fine print of my mistakes on most given days, too. I feel I'm used to the little red print dancing around my life, kinda almost built in to "living on".
I wish I was built another way- like the geniuses of this planet who gain their knowledge through searching and studying. But, this girl was designed to learn the hard way. I'm not using it as an excuse for the messes I find myself in, mind you, it's just a reason. (No authority figure that I've used that saying on has liked the logic.) I don't really find solace in the reason; which is my justification for why it's NOT an excuse. It's just how things are for me- like gravity or geography- they are previously placed, thought out specifications by the Big Man for how things are gonna play out. I definitely didn't vote on it.
I can't say if I regret the design or not. I don't like coming to terms with failing, the rising above is always a neat story ,though (with great background music to boot).
I'm not certain why I'm writing this, it's not to complain about my current method of discovered knowledge or even to vent about past regrets. I think it's just to say: I know I'm not the only one who learns it the hard way. It's discouraging at times, yup. Tough, yup yup. But, at least I can say the lesson sticks pretty permanently when it comes about :)
Probably random. Hopefully useful. Always interesting.
